Monday, November 12, 2007

The definition of an idiot... doing something the same way over and over again yet expecting a different outcome.

Ah, I am such a procrastinating chicken!

Big busy times are over for now. I can paint for real, and stop escaping to these little sketches in front of the TV. no more excuses. On Friday, stretched 8 half-sheets of watercolor paper, all ready to go - - - and there I am, yet again, sketching from a photo I found in a magazine.

"It's only an exercise", I tell myself.

"Just for practicing", I assure me.

"It's not gonna come out good anyway", I plead to the little voice in me that keeps saying 'Stop it!'.

And it's not like I do not have enough photos of my own. Noooooooooooooo... I have plenty of those, taken with LumiB and her predecessors, and I keep taking more and more. And some of them are good! REALLY good!

So, why do I keep reverting to TV and magazines? I will never be able to show them at an exhibit or sell them, as they are actually someone else's art that I based mine on. So, does that fact make me feel less committed, thus more free, when I sketch or paint? Two of my favorite - and most successful - paintings were done from a photo I found online, or in a magazine. They both turned out incredible! Those who see them gasp "Ah, you just HAVE to enter these in a show!!!". And yet, alas, both can only be hung on our own walls.

With that in mind, why do I keep doing the same mistake over and over again? Am I just a repetitive idiot? (that is a rhetorical questiion. No need to answer it, thankyouverymuch).

OK then. I hereby decide, pledge and make a pact: from now on, I shall paint from my own photos only. No more wading in the shallow water comprising the comfort zone of uncommitment.

And may the reprimanding gaze of disdain by the girl in this little sketch be my reminder.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Not so hard, PLEEZE! That is, stop whipping yourself so hard! Go ahead and work on those photos not gotten by you. Go ahead and find the muse where ever it pops up. It is NEVER about rolling up our resources to create a masterpiece . . .it IS, however, about practice. Lots and lots of it. Acres of paper. Hundreds of brush miles. If you are feeling like drawing from someone elses' photos, do it! You are seeing something there that you have no emotional attachment to . . .but you have that in your own and might not be ready to really see them . . . .yet. In due time. But in the meantime, have fun practicing. It ALL counts.